HOW MEN CAN MAKE LOVEMAKING LAST LONGER

» Posted by on Sep 11, 2012 in Love, Tantra | 2 comments

HOW MEN CAN MAKE LOVEMAKING LAST LONGER 
by Janet Kira Lessin, Professor, Tantric Studies, School of Tantra schooloftantra@aol.com 

In order to having mind-blowing tantric-sex orgasms, both the man and the woman must achieve heightened states of arousal. Since the man winds up faster than the woman and can ejaculate like a bunny, the man must learn how to stay present, focus on the woman until she is electrically charged and running full blast. If he does so, the more the woman orgasms, the more she can orgasm. The best way for the woman to orgasm is right after she’s just orgasmed. The more she orgasms, the more she’s going to want to orgasm. See how this works?

 

Once she’s supercharged, the man can learn how to have full-body, kundalini and extended orgasms as he facilitates her and learns from her how to ride the Shakti wave.

 

So, if you have an orgasmic wife, you’ll be happy for the rest of your life. She’ll want to make love more because it’s fun, loving warm and intimate. The more you give, the more you’ll get and in the long run, you’ll learn that giving and receiving are one and the same.

 

Mike, a warm and gentle Cancerian, was a sensitive lover who learned long ago that the road to his greatest passion was by satisfying the Goddess first. When he honored his ladies orally, he observed that they seemed to ride waves when they orgasmed, which increased gradually in size until he thought they could bear no more. Then, he’d continue. As he held tight, it felt as if his lovers broke through another level of waves that were even higher than the first. On top of many levels, they seemed to have a wide variety of orgasms.

 

When he would finally have intercourse with them and experience his own orgasm, he noticed his orgasm was only one type, one level. He knew he could experience those waves and a multitude of orgasms types too, but wondered how. If only he had heard about tantric sex.

 

HESITATE TO EJACULATE

 

What Mike and others like him don’t realize is that they too can ride high orgasm waves if they master ejaculatory control. In orgasmic functioning, men and women are polar opposites. The more a woman orgasms, the more she can orgasm and the higher she can go. The more a man holds back his ejaculate (typical Western orgasm), the more he learns how to orgasm, the more orgasms he can have and the higher he goes. Eventually, both men and women experience full-body, extended and kundalini orgasms complete with kreas (rushes of energy that make the body jerk, feel good and look like small epileptic seizures).

 

In the buildup to a man’s ejaculation, his autonomic nervous system is dominated by its sympathetic branch. The sympathetic part of the autonomic nervous system releases the chemicals sympathin and adrenelin leading to peripheral vasodialation and visceral vasoconstriction. In other words, when a man is making love, the blood leaves his guts and moves into his face, extremities and penis giving him the energy. The peripheral neurons fire continuously and metabolites (waste products of neural burning) accumulate at the myroneural junctions (where nerves and muscles come together).

 

When he ejaculates, he goes into a phase of autonomic nervous system functioning known as parasympathetic overcompensation wherein the parasympathetic part of his central nervous system releases the chemical acetecholine which causes peripheral vasoconstriction and viseral vasodialation. The acetecholine cleanses the metabolites that accumulated in the muscle-nerve junctions in the excitation phase of lovemaking. In other words, the blood leaves his head, arms, legs and penis and goes to his guts to help him recuperate because he’s just run the equivalent of a small marathon and he feels sleepy. This signal to retreat, regenerate and relax is why so many men “come and go”.

 

MUST YOU GO IF YOU COME?

 

Many men once they ejaculate, roll over and fall asleep. Since the blood leaves the brain, even if he manages to stay awake, he may not be so focused on lovemaking as he was before due to the decreased level of oxygen in the brain. The chemical shift tends to deplete the former heightened level of attention, even if he does happen to get a second erection.

 

For many couples the answer is ejaculatory control.

 

When a man learns to ejaculate from choice rather than automatically, he moves his lovemaking to the highest levels of ecstasy possible for himself and his lover. If he masters the ability to hold his ejaculate and direct his sexual energy up his spine and out his crown into his beloved, he not only increases pleasure to unimaginable levels for both of them, he’ll eventually achieve full-body, kundalini and extended orgasms. By staying connected longer, he’ll reach new levels of love and intimacy with his sweetheart.

 

WAYS TO HELP THE MAN DELAY EJACULATION

 

There are many ways to master your ejaculate to gain control over the decision to squirt or not to squirt, some which you can do alone to condition your body and some you practice with your mate to condition your relationship.

 

In the Taoist sex tradition, men have orgasms without ejaculation and injaculates instead. They believe that by pressing an acupuncture point located halfway between the anus and scrotum (the Jen-Mo Point or Million Dollar Spot), that ejaculation can be reversed and the semen recycled from the prostate reabsorbed into the blood creating a better orgasm. The semen contains a great deal of the Vital Life Force and ejaculation represents a loss of vital energy, hormones and nutriends and early death. Cessation of ejaculation and menstruation is the avenue to perpetual life

 

THE MILLION DOLLAR SPOT

 

So, one of the most common and simplest ways to stop ejaculation is to reach underneath the scrotum and press the “million dollar spot”, where the seminal vessels empty into the scrotum and stop the flow of semen by pressing on the base of those tubes. However, this is not the most advisable method as you are stopping the rush of energy (which is normally flowing downward) in an unnatural way and could cause small blood vessels to burst. It’s best to master control of your body and stop your ejaculation through managing your breath and pulling energy up and recycling the energy.

 

YOGA

 

Internal yogic holds (bandhas) are the key to ejaculatory control for many. Review Dr. Lessin’s detailed description for bahdhas below. Master the three holds; throat hold, belly hold and pelvis hold and send energy out your crown into your beloved.

 

Learning how to control your own body and not using external pressure points is a far healthier practice. Recognize your body’s internal cues. If you reach that point where you feel it is inevitable that you will ejaculate, stop moving, pull the energy up and out your crown chakra and practice the yogic breathing.

 

To begin mastering your ejaculation, follow this simple procedure. Self stimulate or have your partner stimulate your penis raising the energy as you get excited. Use a numbering scale of 1-10 to measure your level of arousal. Ten is over the top and you have ejaculated. Nine is the point of ejaculatory inevitability, where you feel your seminal vessel about to empty and you’re close to coming. When you reach an 8, stop stimulating your penis, empty out all the air from your lungs, suck up your belly, imagine sending energy from your base chakra up through all the chakras in your spine and out the top of the crown into your beloved, and pulse your PC muscles. Pause a few minutes till you regain control and begin the cycle again.

 

 

SUPPRESS SQUIRT WITH BANDHAS (INTERNAL HOLDS) by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D., Dean, School of Tantra

 

Nude or comfortably dressed, on a thick rug or pad, kneel or sit up straight.  Face a mirror and notice how your spine and ribs shift as you expand and contract your lungs.

 

Inhale:

 

Breathe in through your nose as you look in your own mirrored eyes.  As you inhale, lower your chin slightly and lift the back of your skull.  Stretch the back of your neck.  Imagine your crown stretches up to the sun or a star.  Your skull tugs your top neck bone, the atlas, heavenward.  The atlas in turn stretches the axis, the bone below it, up.  Axis pulls up the neck bone beneath it.  In turn stretch each cervical, thoracic, lumbar and sacral vertebra up.

 

Lift your ribs and suck air through your nostrils into your lungs.  Direct the air first to the top of your lungs, your upper chest.  Then let the tops of your lungs press your middle ribs wider.  Fill the space between your shoulder blades with air.   Pull your shoulder blades back toward each other.  Keep your belly firm as air fills your lower lungs.   While you inhale, lower your diaphragm toward your pelvis.  As you finish breathing in, let your diaphragm drop.  Curl your tailbone back toward the space behind you.

 

As you assume yoga postures, inhale when you lift your arms, expand your chest or arch your back.  Inhale as you stretch into backward bends or extension poses.  Inhale when you straighten from twists or side-bends.

 

Exhale:

 

As you breathe out, curl your tail bone forward (to the front of you) and up–toward your navel–as you press the front of your sit-bones into the earth.  Draw each successive backbone–sacrum to atlas–down toward the earth between your hips.  Tighten the muscles of your perineum, then tighten your belly muscles and draw your navel in toward the spine.  Ribs, chest and shoulder blades relax downward as your diaphragm rises and pushes air out of the bottom of your lungs.

 

Experience air flow up and out of your lungs.  Imagine that your coccyx and the front of your sit bones root to the center of the planet.  Pretend they connect you with the energy of the material world.

 

Throat Hold (jalandara bandha; straight neck variation): After each inhale, pull your crown skyward, turn your chin down toward your throat (until the back of your neck straightens).  Then exhale slowly, drop your spine and hold your head up.

 

Belly Hold (uddiyana bandha): When you’ve emptied your lungs, suck your navel back toward your spine and pull your belly up toward your throat.

 

Pelvis Hold (mula bandha): Tighten then pulse your pubococcygeal and anal muscles.  Pull energy from the earth through your perineum and up through you belly, throat, out your crown, and from you crown to your partner’s or mirror image’s crown.

 

Benefits:

 

If male, you can control ejaculation with bandhas.  Recognize internal cues to ejaculatory inevitability–twinges in your prostrate and seminal vesicles.  When you feel the twinges, if you don’t prevent it, you’ll soon squirt.  You can avoid squirting without losing your erection if you take six or more bandha breaths–inhale, throat hold; exhale belly hold then pelvis hold.  Women with male lovers can teach them the bandhas.  Bandhas flatten everyone’s bellys, pull organs up and condition stomach and low back muscles.

 

If you do the yoga breathing with the bandhas for fifteen minutes or so, energy rushes up your spine and your whole body vibrates in a full-body orgasm.

2 Comments

  1. I have learned at a very early age from an experienced woman how to help a woman experience as many organisms as possible..starting with oral stimmuli. Most recently, now at the age of 63, I was able to help a lady achieve 9 insertion organisms before I had a full body organism, with very little fluid spilled. Your piece has solidified what I have always been trying to do. I will now begin breathing exercises to try to go higher.

    Being Bisexual, I would like to achieve with a man what I have with a woman…too bad the sexes experiences are so far different.
    I so wish I could pay a visit to you guys in the islands.

    Peace, Love and Nudity
    bob

  2. I am interested in teaching the art to my boyfriend. I live in India and would love to know where we can learn these techniques. Do write to me at kamamasseuse@gmail.com regarding any information on the subject and a contact in India. Manythanks

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