Chakra 4: GIVE,GET, BE LOVE Internet Radio & Articles by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

» Posted by on Nov 3, 2012 in Love, Polyamory, Relationships, Tantra | 1 comment

Chakra 4: GIVE,GET, BE LOVE Internet Radio & Articles

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Listen to internet radio with Aquarian Radio on Blog Talk Radio

 

Click the arrow in the embed above and hear our show.  Chakra 4, Give,Get, Be Love

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HEED YOUR HEART: Exercises with Tantric Partner by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D., Dean, School of Tantra

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Do these exercises and you and your partner will open up your heart chakras and lovingly integrate your reactions to all your own inner voices, to each other and to the world.

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Face each other in the Open Heart Pose Below:

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Left legs forward, stretch your arms back, palms toward one another.  Open your chests to each other.

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Close your eyes.  Pretend you each STAND BEFORE SOMEONE you love–other than each other.  Beam love to the person you imagine before you.

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Finish the sentence in italics below aloud as you imagine a person you love faces you. You and s/he each speak at the same time to the persons you imagine (ignore for now what your partner vocalizes): “Here’s what I love about you ….”  (Remember, this is the person you imagine, not your actual partner; you’ll get to your partner in a bit).

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Imagine the person you visualize sends love to you; receive it.

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Eyes still closed, broadcast love from your heart to your family, community and humanity.

 

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Open your eyes.  Beam love to each other.

 

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Access what you love about each other.  Then sit together.  

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Say whom you saw and felt love toward when you had your eyes closed.  Share what you thought and felt when you sent love to her or him.

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Tell each other what you thought and felt when you sent love to your family.

 

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What did you think and feel when you sent love to the world?

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Complete, to each other:WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU IS ….”.

 

EMBODY AFFECTION

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Become your Love Chakra. Say what you want.  Say why you want that.

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How would your person live if you, Romantic subself, were the sole voice she or he heeded.

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How do you balance your Giver and Taker subselves.

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Relate what you’d do if you dictated love on Earth.

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APPRECIATE  PLEASER & TAKER TOO: Center your Heart Center When You Both Give & Get Love

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Read the cues in bold below aloud to her; give her a few minutes to respond to each.

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Sit on this cushion–the place for your CENTER, where you  hear your inner selves.

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Tell me about your Pleaser, your nice part, that makes other people happy.

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What’s your Pleaser voice like?

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What does it do for you.

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Shift to a new position, a seat for PLEASER.

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Hi.  Enact Pleaser.  Say what you do for    [partner’s name].

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When did your life as distinct Pleaser subself start?

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What’s your history,Pleaser?

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How do you protectherfrom  hurt, fear and insecurity.

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What have you contributed to her or him?

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Say what you’d like her to acknowledge and appreciate.

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Thanks.  Let her return to Center position.

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Hi, Center.  Tell me about your TAKER, the part Critic calls “Selfish”, the subself that wants you to have what you want.

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Move to a seat for that self.  Be Taker.  Say, Taker, what you do for her or him.

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Say the main times you emerged, times you helped her or him.

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What would you like her or him to appreciate you for?

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Relate when, nowadays, Taker, you’d like her or him to assert needs better.  

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How, from your perspective, does she or he do in meeting her or his sexual, assertive and creative needs?

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Thanks, I liked talking.  Now let [partner’s name] return to CENTER.

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Now move again; stand behind me, in the WITNESS position.  I review what your Pleaser and Taker said. ###[Summarize what you heard]

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Stand.  Embrace impartially.  As Witness, you don’t decide anything.  You just sense each voice’s energy as I tell about them.

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[Say what you noticed about her Pleaser and Taker] Nod, “Yes,” when you feel them.

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Return to the CENTER cushion. Experience the middle.  Feel and appreciate Pleaser and Taker.

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Say what you learned.

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CONSTELLATE  INNER LOVER

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“Embody your Ideal Lover.  As Ideal  Lover, describe your existence–what you feel, think and do for your woman or man, how you regard her or him, what you do to help her for him feel loved.

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Say how you feel about    [her or his name].

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What do you want for her or him?

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Say what you value about her or him.

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Change positions, stop enacting Ideal Lover.

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Embody Center–your whole self–again.  As yourself, respond to your Ideal Lover.

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Say what you learned from this roleplaying.
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EXPANDING THE HEART CHAKRA: GAL/GAL & PAIR/PAIR PAIRING by Janet Kira Lessin

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Woman/Woman Loving

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Bisexuality is a touchy subject in our culture.  Many of us had childhood experiences with same sex partners when we were young and naive as we innocently played “Doctor” or other genital revealing and touching games.  It was only after the negative reactions of adults that we adopted the concept of “shame” and “bad.”  In our primitive efforts to regain approval we had a tendency to “throw the baby out with the bath water” and bought into the concept of  “sin” and forgot the fun and pleasure when we played.

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As we grew we encountered additional programming from our society and culture regarding sexuality and homosexuality.  Our peers and parents positioned themselves on the either sides of a sharply-picketed fence and either aligned themselves with “gays” and “queers”;  proud of their open-mindedness and lack of prejudice or they identified themselves as “straight” and “hater” and knew they were righteous, sinless, and on the side of God.

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We observed and analyzed, decided what was “right” or perhaps “safe” and either aligned ourselves with the status quo or rebelled and took a firm stance in opposition.  Perhaps we vacillated throughout our lives, dancing in one camp or the other for a while as it suited our situation at the time.

 

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So now we have arrived, we’re grown-up; adults, free to make conscious decisions about who and what we really are sexually.  But how do we know what is “real”, what we authentically “feel” when we’ve been inundated with unsolicited opinions and programming throughout our lives?  No wonder we’re confused.

 

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Women loving women seems to be widely accepted and common in many cultures.  While both men and women may be bi-curious, women seem braver than men acting out fantasies.  Many monogamous couples begin their path to polyamory or swinging with woman/woman loving.  Couples search personals, lifestyle parties, seminars and conventions for a perfect woman for their first triadic tryst.

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Homophobic attitudes block many men exploring bisexual or homosexual loving men.  After many group lovemaking episodes, men may become more comfortable with seeing other men and may gradually become more sensual with one another, especially if they are sharing women.  Some men may permit a man to pleasure him while not reciprocating.  Some may explore anal penetration.

 

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Americans often accept female (but not male) bisexuality, at least in fantasy.  Many men fantasize sex with two hot bi-babes.  But, fearing even homosexual thoughts, men are less likely to even think them.  Men and women both have erogenous zones in the throat and rectum so both can enjoy sexual contacts there.

 

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Bonobos–the primates closest to humans– share 99% of our genes.  Bonobos are bisexual. They’re also the only other species that enjoys sex all the time, not only in heat for procreation. Bisexuality and homosexuality are natural possibilities for all humans, male as well as female.

 

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Experience myriad emotions, notice your judgments: good, bad, ugly.  You don’t know how you feel on a path until you walk it.   Prepare for smooth and rocky parts on your trek to conscious awareness.  You may encounter dark tunnels.  Eventually you’ll find light and freedom.  You’ll replace unconscious reactions with conscious pro-actions and CHOICE.

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Couple Loving Couple

 

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Somewhere around the middle of my second twelve-year marriage I woke up with an incredible revelation, “I’m sexually bored!”  That frightened me horribly, so I promptly tried to censor and deny it.  How could I think such a thought?  I was still in love with my husband, John, so the idea that I might be sexually bored troubled me deeply. He was a wonderful lover, so it wasn’t a comment on his lovemaking abilities.  Also, we were getting along quite well, so that wasn’t it.  What was wrong with me?

 

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While I pondered those thoughts and struggled with the feelings, another revelation came to mind.  I remembered how upset I was with my girlfriend when she told me her husband had talked her into becoming a swinger.  Now, suddenly, I had a new understanding of swingers and why they chose diversity in their lovemaking.

 

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Despite the mores and attitudes of world in which I was reared (the late 1960s and 1970s), I knew there had to be another way of doing relationships, yet couldn’t quite figure it out as I had not heard of polyamory back then.  I knew there had to be some way to combine the two; the love and intimacy of the primary bond of a monogamous marriage and the diversity and sexual adventure of swinging.  I filed these thoughts deep in my subconscious for future reference and promptly showered for work and returned to my Stepford Wife-life in conservative Middle America.

 

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Many years later I now live an incredible life that was previously inconceivable to me and remains a secret fantasy for much of our society.  My latest husband, Sasha, and I date other couples together.  And we love it.

 

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Remember the thrill of that first meeting, eyes discovering one another across the room, that smile? Then you got to know one another and discovered that the attraction was mutual.  Next came that first kiss, first touch, first time making love and that seemingly endless, boundless, new relationship energy that kept you up till dawn.   Sometimes you’d share your adventures with your best bud.  You’d be so excited, you’d talk away the night replaying each romantic moment, laughing, crying, over and over and all the while your best friend would experience your joy as if it were her own.   Finally, you took the big step and settled down with that special someone.  But somehow, despite how marvelous things seemed to be, the newness began to fade.

 

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I feel as if Sasha and I have discovered some incredible secret to eternal romantic bliss and excitement.  We have found a way where we don’t have to stop dating, yet have the intimacy, security, love and intensity of a romantic, committed relationship.  We have truly found a way to have our cake and eat it too!

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Our life is so exciting.  With every adventure we share with another couple, we bring incredible energy back to our love and it enhances our relationship, makes it deepen and grow, and actually become larger with each liaison.  We only make love together and never do anything off stage, so nothing is hidden.  We honor each other’s tastes and desires and give each other absolute veto power with no questions asked.   We have given one another permission to be real and authentic, and this allows us to move from that old paradigm of forbidden items of discussion, to a new one of total openness and honesty.

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If we don’t push one another or attempt to control and manipulate but remain conscious, patient and honor each others’ Inner Children, then compromise is never even required.  We eventually get everything we deeply want from a natural evolution which flows graciously into win/win.

 

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As a result, we remain totally in love, completely loyal and devoted to each other.  While we realize that one cannot make another person happy, we are there for each others’ process of personal growth and evolution.   From this space of feeling full and complete, our ever-expanding love grows and overflows and we reach out with abundance to share our bliss with others.

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Prior radio: Chakra 3 (Empowerment)

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1 Comment

  1. My darling, Beautiful, Gracious Lady Janet. Hello once again. This is Gary from Kansas City, Missouri. I am one of your, if not your biggest fan. I love and understand ( however nothi g like you do) all that you said. You are a beautiful and very graciousnTrye Lady Angel. Your husband is so very blessed to have your love every man should be half this blessed.

    I have desired and wanted to see you for so long. I have learned so much from you. I have been alone for over 32 years. No one is in my life. I really have a heart for Tantra and the Poly lifestyle. I would like to learn from you Janet. I am so very happy for you and for those whose lives you are in. They are so blessed.

    I hope some day to meet you and learn more from you. My cell phone number is 816-876-1668. I am 63 yrs young. I want to thank you for taking the time to read this Janet. MAy God bless you an yours always.

    Very Sincerely Yours
    Soft kisses
    Gary Schumann. X x x x x x x

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