Posts by Kira

ANAL SEX by David J. Ley, Ph.D. in Psychology Today

»Posted by on May 8, 2013 in Love, Sexuality | 0 comments

What is with the male fascination with heterosexual anal sex, anyway? Men seem to fantasize obsessively about anal sex, hundreds of porn movies are made every year that fetishize anal sex, and women everywhere debate whether they should or shouldn’t have anal sex with their boyfriend or husband, while men discuss how to convince their female partners to give it a try. When women do have anal sex, the overwhelming majority, do so at the request of their male partner.So, why? What does anal sex mean? . Heterosexual anal sex has been around for millennia. Paintings and etchings from Japan, China and Europe all depict men performing anal sex on women, as do ancient erotic drawings, sculpture and pottery from the Mediterranean and South America. In some Polynesian cultures, anal sex was practiced explicitly as a means of birth control. Today, some adolescents regard anal sex as a means to prevent conception, regardless of increased risks for transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. Over the past decades, heterosexual anal sex rates have climbed. In the Fifties, anal sex was reported by fewer than fifteen percent of the population. . Modern overall rates suggest that around a third of men have performed anal sex on a woman, and slightly fewer women have received anal sex. . The rates are still higher in sexually active adult in their twenties. . But, for married and committed couples, where disease and pregnancy aren’t a significant concern, how can we explain the prevalence of the male fascination with anal sex? Men are sexually interested by variety, but aside from this, there is no relevant evolutionary argument, as anal sex of course produces no heirs. . Anal sex, and a desire for anal sex, serves different purposes for men. The strongest, and most common argument that men voice, is that a woman who will engage in anal sex is inherently arousing to a man. Such a woman, in embracing anal sex, is embracing it with no intent or possible result of pregnancy – it is sex, at its rawest. . For a man, anal sex with a woman is her allowing him to play Star Trek, and venture into uncharted territory. Even if it is not where no man has gone before, it is still something novel, ncommon, and special in its rarity. A woman engaging in anal sex shows her desire and willingness to have sex in a purely physical way, with no thought of pregnancy. She is embracing, to some degree, a willingness to make her body a sexual object. Some research suggests that women who engage in anal sex report having more orgasms, not necessarily during anal sex alone, but in their overall levels of sexual activity. The overall conclusions are that the women who are willing to engage in anal sex tend to be more adventurous, more sensual, more relaxed in bed, and thus, more orgasmic. . A woman willing to engage in anal sex is giving her mate something special, rare and uncommon. . The degree of pain in anal sex is a mixed issue. In some relationships where bondage and discipline factors play a role, the pain a woman might experience in anal sex is part of the allure. For others, men and women often work carefully to decrease any pain, using lubricants and preparation, to increase comfort, and pleasure for both parties. This preparation and work, the special attention to preparation, serves as an intense form of foreplay, heightening excitement, extending the sexuality and sensuousness of the encounter, and, not incidentally, increasing the chances that the woman will have an orgasm, through the extended foreplay and stimulation. . For many men and women, anal sex is seen as a form of “gift” from the woman, given out of love and regard, and wanting to give him something special and rare. When a woman is willing to engage in anal sex with her lover, it is usually coming from a place of significant trust and love of her male partner. . Some people see a man having anal sex with a woman as a form of dominance, where the man is “having every part of her body. ” The “flavor” of dominance, and misogyny, plays out in the current (disturbing) porn phenomena of “Ass to Mouth,” where a man puts his penis in the mouth of a woman, after performing anal sex on her. However, in most porn, the women are portrayed as the fantasy women who are always ready, always hot, always excited, and always willing. . Another way of viewing this is that the actresses are expressing and displaying their willingness to violate any and all taboos, no matter how “distasteful,” because of how aroused they have become, rather than an expression of female degradation. . Surprisingly large numbers of people don’t regard anal sex as actual sex. Some studies suggest that as many as 19% of college students view anal sex as less intimate, less committed, and...

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MERGE WITH LOVERS; DISSOLVE SEPARATENESS ILLUSION: Keyes youtubes, Lessin Article, Do-It-With Partners Exercise

»Posted by on Mar 10, 2013 in Articles, Love, Relationships | 1 comment

MERGE WITH LOVERS; DISSOLVE SEPARATENESS ILLUSION: Keyes youtubes, Lessin Article, Do-It-With Partners Exercise

by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D., Dean, School of Tantra www.schooloftantra.net Heed what’s hard handling your honeys. Difficulties handling them expose your expectations that they’ll do what you want or forgo what you forbid.   But when you need your mates to make you happy, you produce pain. Sometimes you get your way, but sometimes you don’t. Why upset yourself over it?   Defeat your addictions–rigid conditioning that makes you hurt and angry. Addictions are hopes that hurt. They dictate how you and your darlings must relate for you to feel fulfilled.]   Replace your addictive demands with preferences. Get what you prefer and you smile. And if you don’t get what you prefer, you don’t cry. Preferences are wants which, when unmet, don’t make you moan.   IF YOUR PRECIOUS PEOPLE WON’T PERFORM AS YOU PREFER, PLEASE YOURSELF AND STILL APPRECIATE THEM   END SUFFERING: UPLEVEL ADDICTIVE DEMANDS TO PREFERENCES   1) Love is eternal, involvement, negotiable. Love your lovers forever, celebrate what you’ve shared. Wish them well and good-loving with whomever they connect, whether or not they keep connecting with you at the level and with the quality you want. You and they blessed each other, facilitated each other’s progress and development in life’s learning. Shower lovers past with appreciations and put your efforts into your currently active loves.   2) Uplevel addictive involvement–that which makes you suffer if you lack the contact you desire–to preference. If your attachment to a certain form of contact (regular alone time with a certain lover) hurts when you do not get it, transform that addictive demand (she must spend a certain amount and quality of 1×1 time with me) to a preference (I’m ok, in fact, quite happy, whether she does or does not spend time with me). Just keep telling your truth without blame or judgement to all concerned and enjoy what you’ve got, don’t sweat what you’ve not.   3) Reprogram the subself within you that perseveres in addictive behavior; find out when it came into your life, how it served you then, what it has done throughout the years to protect your vulnerability and what its interest is in holding on to the current diminishing relationship. Seriously consider other, more ecologically homoeostatic means of meeting the needs of this persevering subself’s addictive demands.   4) Never regard yourself as a second-class human, who must always defer to others’ needs. You’re sovereign; you must make yourself happy. Empathize with your own emotions, analyze your needs, make loving requests of those who care about you, requests that, if lovingly met, meet your needs. As much as possible, meet your own needs and experience the joy that attracts others to you.   MERGE WITH LOVERS; DISSOLVE SEPARATENESS ILLUSION   Here’s an exercise to do with each of your lovers. Do it and you and they’ll feel your oneness.   Sit with a partner. Maintain eye contact. Don’t touch.   Tell her or him, “I feel separateness from you when I say to myself … (specify all of the rational and irrational, serious and trivial, crazy and stupid and clear and astute things you say to yourself that make you feel separate from her or him.) Exhaust your list.   Your partner sits calmly and says, “Thank you” after each separation you enumerate.   Then have your partner tell you, “I feel separateness from you when I tell myself….” Encourage your partner to exhaust her or his separatenesses: calmly say “Thank you” for each.   Then join hands. Tell your partner, “I feel oneness with you when I tell myself ... (complete with all the things you tell yourself which make you feel close to your partner..) Reverse roles. Discuss your experience with this exercise.   When you raise your consciousness to the dyadic level you still keep your bodymind awareness, your distinct personality and your inner voices, should you choose to temporarily identify with them.   When you and your significant other expand consciousness of yourselves to internalize each others’ wisdom and concerns, you are on the dyadic level of consciousness. The energy, richness, complexity and awareness the two of you share exceeds the sum of both your individual bodymind energies and aware nesses. Your couple synergy is enhanced when you use your relationship so each of you grows and has more to give to the relationship as well.   Ken Keyes provided an excellent model for such synergistic dyadic consciousness. [Keyes, K., Handbook to Higher Consciousness, 5th Edition,: Living Love, 1979 and A Conscious Person’s Guide to Relationships, Kentucky: Living Love, 1979.]  Keyes says to welcome upsets in your relationship. You can use upsets to raise your consciousness....

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TANTRA TEACHER vs DETRACTORS a funny but instructive youtube

»Posted by on Feb 20, 2013 in Articles, Chakras, Classes, Love, Polyamory, Relationships, Sexuality, Spirituality, Tantra, Traditional, Videos | 1 comment

TANTRA TEACHER vs DETRACTORS a funny but instructive youtube

I knew Penn and Teller would be hostile but my message is so powerful that nothing, not even these clowns, can diminish the truth of all-chakra consciousness. Tantra, most think, enhances and sacralizes sex; tantra helps you enjoy sex more, feel spiritual and experience oneness between you and your lovers. True. Yet sex contributes but one seventh of tantra. Sex energy comprises one of seven energies or chakras in humans’ bodies. In All-Chakra Tantra, the word tantra means weave. As a tantra teacher–a tantrica, daka, dakini or sacred lover–you teach seekers to weave, coordinate and orchestrate sexuality with tantra’s other six-sevenths. Tantra tells younicator and visionary–influence your sexual chakra as well. CENTER yourself to weave. Hear which inner voices–aka subselves–your sexual interests activate. Integrate the subselves who cluster at your sex chakra with all subs at all your chakras. Choreograph the interplay of your subselves and the subselves your lovers present.: see, accept, choreograph and integrate your emotional, sexual, assertive, romantic, communicative, wise and spiritual–as well as your sexual–aspects. You weave your inner aspects, like a carpet’s weft through its seven chakra warp. You also weave your inner voices with voices within your lovers. In All-Chakra Tantra, we don’t ignore the sex chakra.  Sex Chakra energy affects the other six chakras–vulnerability, power, romance, communication, knowledge and higher ­consciousness.  These chakras–child, hero, lover, communicator and visionary–influence your sexual chakra as well.          CENTER yourself to weave.  Hear which inner voices–aka subselves–your sexual interests activate.  Integrate the subselves who cluster at your sex chakra with all subs at all your chakras.  Choreograph the interplay of your subselves and the subselves your lovers present.    ...

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HOW TO REALLY LOVE A WOMAN: TANTRA DATE PHOTOS by Janet Kira Lessin

»Posted by on Feb 2, 2013 in Articles, Sexuality, Tantra | 0 comments

HOW TO REALLY LOVE A WOMAN: TANTRA DATE PHOTOS by Janet Kira Lessin Hubby Sasha and I are proud to bring the following photos to you. It took many years for me to be brave enough to allow them to be taken. However, I believe so firmly in the loving, healing path of tantra that I felt it is essential that this information get out to you and those in your life. These photos are taken from our best selling book, How to Really Love A Woman, which explains the first date in a series of tantra dates that we call Adore Aphrodite. We teach this technique at our Seminars and Tantra School. I hope you enjoy them. . Schedule your session today, click HERE. . Buy the Book, click HERE. . If you’re a minor, don’t click the link below: . http://www.schooloftantra.net/Photos/WomanTantraDatePhotos.htm . FOUR TANTRIC TRYSTS guides you as Giver as you adore and nurture a female lover–your Receiver. You show her she can trust you as her healer. You help her heal herself and adopt strategies to love wisely and expand her sexual ecstacy. . When you’ve trysted tantrically, you love each other more and better. . In Tantra Tryst 1, Activate Your Chakras, you open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other. You share your diverse inner-voices. Learn, in this tryst, what hurts and scares your Inner Kids. See how you grew subselves to block pain and fear. You discern when to lower your subself shields, share vulnerability and connect with each other. You synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you. . In Tryst 2, Reprogram Her Parental Imprints, you help your Receiver escape the automatic limits her rearers and culture inculcated. Then she reacts to you as you, not as a stand-in for a parent. . Tryst 3, Refine How You Relate, you guide her through exercises to refine how you and she relate. You establish the trust you need to nurture, adore, delight and worship her so she can safely express everything to you. . Tryst 4, Heal Her Heart, Encourage Her Ejaculation, you touch her vagina inside and trigger repressed, suppressed and under-expressed pain she expresses as you touch, pain that blocks her full sexual sensuality and inhibits ejaculatory orgasms. You help her express pain and release her blocks so she can, when she chooses, ejaculate. You stroke her inner clitoris and urethral sponge till she ejaculates and rises to new delight heights. . Available in Hardcover, Paperback and Kindle from...

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HOW TO REALLY LOVE A WOMAN: in Four Tantric Trysts

»Posted by on Jan 21, 2013 in Books | 0 comments

FOUR TANTRIC TRYSTS guides you as Giver as you adore and nurture a female lover–your Receiver. You show her she can trust you as her healer. You help her heal herself and adopt strategies to love wisely and expand her sexual ecstacy. When you’ve trysted tantrically, you love each other more and better. . In Tantra Tryst 1, Activate Your Chakras, you open your energy vortexes (chakras) to each other. You share your diverse inner-voices. Learn, in this tryst, what hurts and scares your Inner Kids. See how you grew subselves to block pain and fear. You discern when to lower your subself shields, share vulnerability and connect with each other. You synergize your inner selves’ dance within and between you. . In Tryst 2, Reprogram Her Parental Imprints, you help your Receiver escape the automatic limits her rearers and culture inculcated. Then she reacts to you as you, not as a stand-in for a parent. . Tryst 3, Refine How You Relate, you guide her through exercises to refine how you and she relate. You establish the trust you need to nurture, adore, delight and worship her so she can safely express everything to you. . Tryst 4, Heal Her Heart, Encourage Her Ejaculation, you touch her vagina inside and trigger repressed, suppressed and under-expressed pain she expresses as you touch, pain that blocks her full sexual sensuality and inhibits ejaculatory orgasms. You help her express pain and release her blocks so she can, when she chooses, ejaculate. You stroke her inner clitoris and urethral sponge till she ejaculates and rises to new delight heights. . Available in Hardcover, Paperback and Kindle from amazon.com. . Schedule a class/session, click HERE. . Read more/photos, click HERE....

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