Posts made in October, 2012

DELVE DREAM DRAMAS by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

»Posted by on Oct 31, 2012 in Love | 0 comments

DELVE DREAM DRAMAS by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. DRAMATIZE DREAMS .   Treat every element in your dreams as an aspect of your experience.   Create dialogues with the elements of the dream for messages about your current being-in-the-world.  Work with your dreams by reversing figure and background, having your conflicted parts  talk to each other, owning your projections, presentifying fantasy material, encountering your repressions, and extracting existential messages.   . Do the experiment below with a partner. Explore and risk self-awareness as deeply as y u choose, and be aware of when you choose to avoid deeper exploration.   . [Read the instructions in bold type to a partner.  Wait for her or him to respond when you see asterisks (***).  Do not read aloud anything between the symbols [and ].    This Dream Path may also be tread without a partner.  Follow the instructions as though a guide read them to you and respond aloud.   . Sit comfortably.? Take ten deep, relaxed breaths. . Recall a DREAM (or make up a dream-like story about your main emotion now). . Tell what happened in the dream, as though it’s happening now.? As you narrate the dream, see, hear, feel and live it more fully than you dreamed.  *** .   [Remind your partner to use present tense (suggesting, for example, changing her or his sentence, “The ape chased me up a tree.” to “The ape’s chasing me …”).] [Note all the dream’s elements, background and foreground (eg: ape, tree, ground and teller).] [Choose a background element (example: the tree).] [Tell your partner:]   . Become the ... [say the name of the background element you selected, e.g., “tree”].   Use its voice and tell what you’re like in the dream. .   Start with, “I’m …” and describe yourself as the … .   [name of the background element]. *** As the … [name of the background element selected], talk to …? [Select a central element, for example, the ape or the dreamer].  *** .   Shift your body and become the … [name of the central element]  and reply.  *** .   Act-out a talk between the … and the … [central and background elements], alternately gesturing, sounding and speaking as one, then the other.  *** .   Now be the … [select a third dream element].  Say what you are like as the … [the 3rd element] and speak to … [select Element 4].  *** .   Shift your body and become the … [Element 4]  and reply.  *** .   Act-out a talk between? … [3] and … [4].  *** .   One-by-one, speak as each of the rest of the characters, props and background details you dreamed and the talks you enact between them.? Enact dialogues among them. *** Imagine that … [select a mysterious dream element like the ape or the tree] has a zipper on its mask  [or a pealing bark, in the case of the tree–make the unmasking metaphor match the symbol]. .   Imagine unzipping the zipper [or peeling off the bark]. Who’s there?   *** .   Speak to this person. *** .   Become her or him and say what your life is like and respond to what the dreamer said. *** . Be yourself again.? Dialogue, alternately playing yourself and the person you unzipped. *** .   Use present tense and continue the dream-action beyond what you dreamed. *** .   Successively become each part of the dream and give a message to the dreamer. *** .   Assume all elements of the dream are aspects of you, say what you learned about yourself from this exercise. *** .   Dream Path 2:   BE EVERYTHING IN YOUR DREAMS .     In the dream exploration below, you center yourself in a discerning-observer perspective (Aware Ego) and relate what you remember of the dream.  Alternately, you do the same for a fantasy you create. .   Then you relate the dream from the perspective of the self you thought you were while you dreamed.  Next, you return to your centered perspective and interview this subself.  You ask it and let it tell you what it has done still does for you. .   Then you become each of the other characters (people, animals, etc), vehicles (cars. buses and the like), buildings and backgrounds in the dream, for each of them symbolizes one of your subselves.  You say, as each, what you’re like and what you want the Aware Ego to know.  As each dream character, you roleplay encounters among the people, objects, backdrops and moods in the dream. .   As each character, you speak as...

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THE POLY LOVE-IN: SHARE SACRED SEXUALITY & Poly Vetting Checklist by Janet Kira Lessin

»Posted by on Oct 31, 2012 in Love, Polyamory, Relationships, Spirituality, Tantra | 1 comment

THE POLY LOVE-IN: SHARE SACRED SEXUALITYby Janet Kira Lessin When you and new lovers get together to make love for the first time, you can better honor your fertility and health concerns once you’ve heard each other’s sexual health information, asked questions and perhaps performed a home-HIV test. .   Each of you tells her or his sexual history.  Share your test results for sexually transmitted and other contagious diseases.  Say who and how you’ve touched sexually since your last HIV tests.  Say what methods you used (or didn’t) for disease protection.  State your fertility status. .   Notice your partners’ body language and eye movements as they share their sexual history.  Body and eye movement can indicate truth (people lie most about sex).  Ask questions until you get enough information to make intelligent decisions. .   WEIGH WHAT WANT & DON’T WANT. . Focus, breathe, find your center.  Notice signals your body sends you.  Is your belly tense, head aching, breathing rapid?  Then gather your thoughts and take turns saying what you seek, prefer and what you do not want sexually with each person at the love-in.  Consider all health, emotional and social factors and remember, you can say “No” anytime. .   CENTER YOURSELF BETWEEN INNER GIVER & TAKER .   You may hide your desires if your Giver– an inner voice that says to please others first—dominates you.  Your Giver knows how to make other people comfortable.  Trouble is, sometimes giving becomes more than an option, your Giver becomes your main voice, the only one you hear inside.  Your Giver takes you over and can ignore your own needs. .   If your Giver dominates you, you do what other people want you to do so they’ll like you.  You think, “I’m nice and just naturally try to make them happy first.”  This may please them and you for a while. .   But when you automatically please others first, you suppress your ability to choose how you want to interact sexually with your lovers at the love-in.  The Giver, always gratifying others, keeps your Taker–the part of you that wants to meet your own needs—offstage. .   Offstage in your unconscious, your Taker gathers strength and bitterness and can explode without consideration of your inner ecology or relations with your polymates. .   What works for me is inclusive, pair-bonded loving (Mono-poly), with Sasha and I each having a veto on one another’s sexual involvement.   Sasha never exercises his veto, but I often do.  In inclusive loving, all sexualloving takes place in each others’ presence.  Relating to other couples has to be right for both of us, no small requirement, since we’re bi, eccentric and intense and we need all-round approbation with our lovers. .   Show your protective voices that you can, from your discerning center, experiment with new behaviors and still feel secure.  From your Center, face your sexual self, overcome your family and cultural programming, burn karma, heal trauma and drop inhibitions.  If your love group encourages emotional release and reprogramming, emotions you experience in the love-in give you a chance to heal and learn. .   STATE DESIRES & LIMITATIONS .   Tell each person how you want to share sex with her or him.  You don’t have to justify a request; just state it.  Hear but don’t judge other’s requests. .   When you request, say, double penetration, your love-in lovers may or may not give you that.  If they ask you to do something you need not comply.  Offer each other alternative intimacies.  Match your sexual interactions with your comfort level.  Perhaps, refrain from coitus at first.  A man may, in some instances, ejaculate only with his mate but share oral sex with others in the group. .   Many woman, like me, were forced, raped, controlled, manipulated or dominated by male caretakers or lovers.  We may have attitudes that limit our sexuality. .   If you have primary partners present at the love-in, after each person expresses sexual wants and limits, tell your partners how you feel about their sexual desires for others and ask them to say how they feel about your sexual requests.  Reach consensus with your partners before engaging in sex with others. .   Always honor and respect the wants, desires and needs of your partners to limit how you relate to the others at the love-in.  Give your primary partners they want and thereby create space for their healing, space where they can feel safe.  Then they can open up later on in the current encounter or future episodes rather than retreat and shut down from this experience...

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»Posted by on Oct 29, 2012 in Love, Spirituality, Tantra | 0 comments

CHAKRA ACTIVATION CHANT & CENTERING CHAKRA 3, EMPOWERMENT: Internet Radio & Articles Click arrow to start radio show, then read article below Listen to internet radio with Aquarian Radio on Blog Talk Radio by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D., Dean, School of Tantra Tantra means weaving. Tantra means weaving all the levels of your awareness, called chakras, within you and between you and those you love. Think of chakras with your body parts––––the bottom of your torso, genitals, belly, heart, throat, brain and neocortex, parts of you aware of your security, sexuality, power, love, talk, clarity and spiritual connection. In tantra, you activate your chakras and merge energy from them with your lovers”. You and your lover together join the ocean of consciousness.***Your first chakra relates to your perineum, your needs to belong, feel safe, secure and healthy, grounded in your material and emotional existence. The tantric weaving of your base chakra and your lover’s means you help your love feel secure emotionally and financially. You encourage wellness as you eat, exercise and stretch together. Massage and touch each other all over..The second chakra relates to your sexuality and reproductive organs, your needs to feel sexual and sensual. In healing sessions involving this chakra, you release emotions and reprogram put-down attitudes. Women respond to vaginal strokes and ejaculate copious, alkaline fluid, amrita. Men learn how to pull up energy instead of ejaculating, to last longer in lovemaking and to orgasm in new ways. .For your third chakra, related to your belly, All-Chakra Tantra teaches you to take what’s yours, assert yourself appropriately. Empower each other. You explore power chakra dynamics with your lover- -how you bond (sometimes sweetly, sometimes sourly) into parental- child roles. Ram meditations help you return to sweet and centered interaction.     The meditations of the forth chakra, associate with your heart, guide you to love, cherish, support, heal and encourage yourself and your lover. You communicate feelings, cultivate sweetness, romance each other. You develop dyadic consciousness, where you identify at the same time with your beloved’s consciousness and your own as parts of a greater awareness, a two-person awareness greater than the sum of your separate identities.     Fifth chakra throat: expression. Hear each of your inner voices (subselves) tell you what they want and need. They say how they aid you, your beloved and humanity. Choose what, when and how to express (or not express) your inner voices to other people. Honor your beloved’s many voices too. Speak authentically, kindly and effectively to each other. In one throat-chakra exercise, you sanctify sex––––speak romantically of sacred sexual organs and acts. .   Chakra 6, Brain: vision, intuition, intellect: Receive, share and expand visions for yourselves, each other, others you love, your community and world. As beloveds, you intuit each others thoughts and feelings, as well as those of your children, parents, friends and others. Access the messages of dream, past life, fantasy, archetype and hero-tale.***For the seventh charka, your crown, the tantric meditations we like invoke awareness of your unity with everyone and everything. Tantra helps you rise to broader perspectives of your crown chakra, yet stay aware of the wisdom of chakras 1-6. Encompass more than Thinker, Pleaser or other subselves. Expand your awareness to more than your body. Expand your perspective to even more than awareness of you and your darling, more than the awareness you share with each other and with humans, with life itself, or even with the Earth. Feel your oneness with everyone and everything everywhere at all-times. Experience unity, the seamless web of consciousness linking the manifest universe. Merge with the latent–unforrned but constantly arising-––––reality of the etacosmic void. Identify with divine play that can manifest all forms. .Chakra                  Task                                                           Chant Perineum   Enhance your health, create safety for yourself and your lovers. Cherish your Inner Child. Contribute to everyone’s well-being and regenerate the planet. Lam   Genitals   Delight yourself & each other sexually. Create kids consciously. Elevate sensuality to alleviate violence. Vam   Belly   Empower your Center. Empower each inner voice. Empower lovers. Empower humanity Ram   Heart Love yourself. Love your lovers. Love all beings. Yam   Throat   Tell truth kindly and listen with love to all your inner voices, your sweethearts & the world. Ham   Brain   Think, intuit and envision for yourself, your beloveds & your community. Ooo   Crown   Flow energy between your crown and your beloveds’. Transcend your separate, individual self-senses.  Merge with each other, humanity, Earth and cosmos. Mmm   Clown   Laugh, Smile, Enjoy, Celebrate HaHa   .   TANTRA BODY MEDITATION CHANT by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. Chant...

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LISTEN WITH LOVE & SHOW OTHERS: Internet Radio and article

»Posted by on Oct 21, 2012 in Love, Relationships | 0 comments

LISTEN WITH LOVE & SHOW OTHERS: Internet Radio and article by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D., Dean, School of Counseling . Click here and hear intenet radio Listen to internet radio with Aquarian Radio on Blog Talk Radio . Read on and experience personal and relationship improvement or at least acceptance. . Understand how genuine concern, authentic communication and active listening help you, your lovers, friends and clients grow.  Listen actively–mirror, validate and empathize with one another. Give genuine regard: paraphrase, summarize, show sympathy. Roleplay–share advanced feedback; show partners, friends and clients how they come across. . Episode 1, (Oct 25, 2012) SUPPLEMENT: DO-IT-YOURSELF & MAKE IT YOURS FOREVER . Listen to your lovers, friends and clients so they feel felt, so they know you hear, understand and feel them.  Hold them.  Find out what hurt them and how you can help heal those hurts.  Teach them to hear, paraphrase and empathize with you and how to commit to improve.  Practice kind yet authentic confrontation.  Grow from feedback. . LISTEN ACTIVELY . Encourage your lovers, friends, clients and seekers.  Show real concern.  Say what you think and feel.  Mirror and validate each other, feel together; then agree to observable helpful acts. . Mirror . When a lover, friends or client shares, complete, in your own words“You say…”. . Just paraphrase; don’t respond to she or he says. . If s/he questions you, don’t answer.  Instead, say “You ask …?”  and repeat the question. . Neither approve nor disapprove of anything s/he says. No eye-rolling or voice sarcasm.  S/he talks, you listen.  You get your turn when you prove you see her or his logic and feel with her or him. . Keep your voice neutral.  Say what you hear tills/he says you’ve got it right. . When a lover, friend or seeker says three or four sentences, lift a hand.  She or he stops, you paraphrase.  Signal before s/he says too much for you to mirror. . The more you listen actively, the more you remember and the longer you let your lovers, friends and seekers speak without signaling.  Even when one of them speaks for several minutes and you finally signal, you faithfully mirror her or him. . Suppose she or he says, “You never take out trash.”  Suppose, also, you know what s/he said is untrue.  Don’t say, “I dumped trash Wednesday.” Instead, say, in a non-argumentative tone, “You said I never take out trash.”  Then say, “That right?”  . If she or he says, “No,” or says you didn’t fully and, to her or his satisfaction, get the gist of what s/he said, say, “Say that again.”  Then, patiently, again say what s/he said until s/he’s satisfied you understand.  If you just can’t paraphrase to her or his satisfaction with your words, repeat word-for-word till s/he says, “Correct.” . If s/he says, “Right,” nods her/his head “yes” or otherwise shows you repeated correctly, ask, “Is there more?” . Validate . When s/he says, “I said all I want on this subject,” summarize her or his logic, outline the main points.  Say, “You make sense because….” Then review how, from the way s/he related the subject s/he discussed, s/he makes sense. . Ask her or him if you got the logic and main points right.  If s/he thinks you missed something important, s/he asks you to mirror that.  When s/he agrees that you’ve understood her or his logic, go to the empathy phase of active listening. . Empathize . Put yourself emotionally in her (just use the right gender from here on, him or her, his or hers, he or she) place.  Imagine you feel as she did about what she had you mirror and validate.   In her place, do you feel mad, sad, glad or scared?  Then complete this: “I imagine you feel…”  Guess how she feels, what emotions she probably experiences. . Then ask her, “Is that what you felt?”   And “What else did you feel?” . Request Action . Ask her, “What specific behaviors would you like to request to help you heal the pain you shared?”  Alternately, ask, “What can I do to make your life better this week?” . Next, your turn to speak while she mirrors, validates and empathizes with you, then agrees to a behavior you request. . LISTEN WITH LOVE . Take turns with a lover, friend or seeker.  Read the cues in bold print aloud to each other. Give her or him time (take five breaths) to consider and respond.  Where you see ###, you talk.  Read words in brackets [ ] to yourself. . .HOW CAN I/A LOVER [choose one] PLEASE YOU DEEPLY?...

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TANTRA FOR MEN: Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. Recommends Morris’ Mystery of Woman

»Posted by on Oct 8, 2012 in Love, Relationships, Tantra | 0 comments

TANTRA FOR MEN: Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. Recommends Morris’ Mystery of Woman Full of helpful hints and personal sharing by leading tantric practitioners, a book that teaches, titillates, fascinates and...

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